I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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