My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
