Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
