The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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