John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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