I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
