I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize