Sry I called you an 8
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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