could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize