when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
there is glitter all over my balls
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