Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
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We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
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Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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