theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
