You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
