Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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