love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
