I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
