found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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