My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
