i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
