Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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