Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
They are going to name an STD after you.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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