so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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