I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
