Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
