when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
