In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
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