The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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