She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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