Heybabeimwearingurpanties
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I love having hate sex.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Randomize
