sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
