Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
