ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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