My brain says no but my pants say off.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize