porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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