Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
