He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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