Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
