im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
