Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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