Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
