You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
