3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
and i looked up. we had an audience...
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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