this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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