I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
