No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
