Who wears a wallet chain?!
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize