i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
