If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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