Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
