Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
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