So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
