I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize