Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
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